Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
