Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
