Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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