I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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