It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
