rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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