mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
