I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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