I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
