i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's shark week go big or go home
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
