these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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