he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Enjoy the penises
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
