I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
