so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
