What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
handjob tips. give me some.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
