Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
