...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Randomize
