whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
