You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
