So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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