Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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