you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
