I got chris browned last night
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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