at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
