that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
