This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
