this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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