Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
