Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
