Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
