As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
