YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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