in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
