I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
