My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
