Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
