Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
