She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
