I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I deserve this hangover.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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