Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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