What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
