I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
