I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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