shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
