You made me cry and you don't even care
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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