well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
