Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
