She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
