New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
