rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
